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We all feel anxious sometimes. Maybe it is going into a new situation such as starting a new job, or having to have a difficult conversation. The feeling of nervousness and anxiousness is completely normal, and an evolutionary necessity. However, for some people, like me, that feeling of anxiousness never goes away. You live with it day in, day out, and it can have quite a detrimental effect on your life and mental health.
I was diagnosed with social and general anxiety disorder about eight years ago, five years into my teaching career. Prior to this I thought that I was a little shy and a worrier, but when this was coupled with depressive episodes and insomnia, “I will not let these issues prevent me from doing what I love.”my health took a dramatic down-turn. I felt that even the smallest mistake was the end of the world and that everyone was judging me as inadequate and incapable, not just as a teacher, but also as a human being. I couldn’t sleep because I was so worried at having to face and interact with people the next day. I would stay awake all night trying to get everything perfect, from the lessons I would be teaching to the way that I would dress. I would run through conversations in my head, planning what I would say in advance so that I wouldn’t make social mistakes. It was exhausting and, in the end, I required a short stay in hospital to help me regain my physical as well as mental health.
The one thing I was certain of throughout this whole episode was that I wouldn’t let these issues and diagnosis destroy my teaching career. I realised that I would need to make some changes, create some coping mechanisms and tell people what was going on. I love being a teacher, and I will not let these issues prevent me from doing what I love.
